Nick Cannon Weighs In On Ellen Page Rumors

A Welcome Home Present *

So as we here at YHMASC are often want to do, we recently found ourselves downloading a LOT of gay porn from an illegal (shhhhh!) file sharing website. As is usually the case, it was a mixed bag -- some stuff we'll save for Valentine's Days yet to come, some stuff had to be deleted. But one very special video caught our eye for more reason than one.

Stick with us here, we promise this is going somewhere.

In the mad-dash for as much booty (pun intended) as possible, someone accidentally clicked on a download with the illustrious title: "Gay - Jeff Palmer Hardcore - Hot Desert Knights Hdk - Bareback Nasty"

For those who don't know, "Bareback" refers to the lack of condom usage in the film, and "Nasty" refers to things you can't un-see, no matter how many showers or trips to church. Jeff Palmer is somewhat of a low-level star in the porn world known for being into some kinky stuff.

And let me tell you, Hot Desert Knights does not disappoint. Though I failed to see any suits of armor or round tables, there was fisting a'plenty. In the big climax, a young gentleman by the name of Tom Finn (not one for originality), takes Mr. Palmer's arm in his rectum well past the elbow while two other men urinate on him.

Here is the title screen of the film:



















Here is Mr. Palmer:



















But why, oh God, why would we feel the need to share this with you? :






















THERE IS NOTHING THAT NICK CANNON CAN'T DO

*have a safe flight sauce. see you soon

Stating the Obvious

This week's Nick Cannon Freedom Medal of Valour goes to Duane Byrge of The Hollywood Reporter who wrote this in his review of "American Son" :

"As the most honorable young Marine, Cannon exudes a confident charm and a steely will. It's a terrific and sympathetic performance."

Congratulations. You sir, get it.

Also stirring:

"On leave for Thanksgiving from Camp Pendleton, Pvt. Mike Holland (Nick Cannon) Greyhounds to a much-needed R&R at his home in Bakersfield. Getting into the spirit, Mike connects with an attractive fellow traveler, Cristina (Melonie Diaz), who also lives in Bakersfield. Mike sets her in his sights for the long weekend, realizing there might be resistance -- he is black, she is Latino."

Take that Paul Haggis. Word.

Super Tuesday Just Got a Super Star

I think this is what Will.I.Am was trying for